Arnab Goswami's Super Primetime Debate

                                                  (The Theatre of the Absurd)

Once upon a time, he was a journalist. Today, he epitomizes the Super Prime-time Debate on Times-now. Ex political party spokespersons who learnt to combat him, and very few seasoned dignitaries know him as Mr. Arnab Goswami. If you watched him over the  week, you would still be undecided about who he is-an analyst, an investigator, a judge, a commissioner, an  inquisitor, or really Haldir, the 'Hidden Hero'. 

You may be right to think he plays many roles. He painstakinly prepares the script with a line from the many news items of the day, for example what the elected chief minister of the new state of Telengana said or what the Chief Minister of the flood ravaged state of Jammu and Kashmir had not said.

 He picks the Dramatis Personae, the guests on his panel,  with special care. He goes for a rookie spokesperson or a functionary of an ally of the ruling party in the state, an activist or a retired diplomat; his opening remarks must surprise and disturb them simultaneously. As a result, they rant non stop, as did past party spokespersons, Manish Tewari, Rajiv Pratap Rudy and Smriti Irani or stutter and tie themselves up in knots. On both occasions, Arnab transforms into a noegenesis, one who has acquired new knowledge from observation and experience, and from inferring relationships between known things.

When Arnab needs a breather, he just needs to nudge his Consultant cum Strategic Affairs Expert, Maroof Raza or political editor Navika Kumar, to butt in, for they are always ready with a list of synonyms, antonyms, twin words, cliches which they use effectively to convey the same point in half a dozen ways, especially to guests from Pakistan. This act provides the bright sparks and reignites Arnab's enthusiasm. (One misses Boria Majumdar, Sports Expert at Times Now)

Then all you get to hear is an amalgamation of sounds and very little dialogue. Arnab almost always remembers his Symbolic Movements, a wave of the report just accessed by Times now or a threat to open up the phone lines to the public.  The viewer is convinced but often teased and puzzled.  Arnab always asks a question because the whole nation wants to know the answer. He breaks into Hindi with practiced ease, lest his detractors accuse him of a lack of patriotism.He acknowledges the presence of his viewers by informing his guests, time and again, the whole nation is watching you tonight. 

With no resolution at the end, the esteemed invited guests find themselves in  Zugzwang-a position in which any move will only result in loss or severe disadvantage. Then Arnab delivers his verbal knock-out punch by varying the pitch, pace and  volume of his vocal chords. He may choose to joke, babble, negotiate, cajole, ridicule, jeer, rant, bully; and this takes him to his next avatar, that of an ultracrepidarian-a person who gives opinions and advice on matters outside of one's knowledge.  

He orders the party spokesperson to go to the nearest police station and lodge an FIR against his leader, He asks Party spokespersons to promulgate and announce party policies on the spot. He wants them to speak frankly and revile the actions of their leaders, he even wags a finger at his guests while asking them not to do so. He manages to upstage them all. He is quick and bright. He unmasks them -the ambitious, the devious, the sociable, the  industrious, the clowns and the puppets.

After this, I have little energy left to pick up the threads of the daily soap so I have stopped watching them. And along with the nation, I continue to watch the prime time debate anchored by Mr. Arnab Goswami. 

BATTING FOR THE IPL (And all other sports events being telecast live!)

Never mind the announcement of the 2014 Champions League Twenty20 to be held in India from 17 September to 6 October 2014; nor the news that Lasith Malinga will represent Mumbai Indians over the Southern Express side he led to victory in Sri Lanka; or the great Ian Botham saying that the IPL was “too powerful” for cricket’s long-term good as he called for the lucrative domestic tournament to be scrapped. There had been a clamour from a section of politicians and cricketers in India too for a ban the IPL! But this is not about the IPL! For you see, I have great valid reasons to bat for the IPL.

Everything went wrong just before the IPL-7! Ok, just one thing, to be specific; our TV just blacked out. This was not the first time it had just stopped; it had happened on New Year’s Eve as well. My husband was away on work and our daughter had come home for the holidays. We hoped to usher in the New Year together, watching the programmes telecast on TV. So out went a call to our mechanic, who claimed to be very far away from our place. But he offered me a solution. I have got several such calls during this week, he said, I think that the TV must have gone very cold. Ma’am, just keep your TV warm by covering it with a thick sheet, and soon, I am sure you will be ale to watch it!

My first thought…..this can happen only in India! In Chennai December temperature hovers around 21°C!  I decided to test this preposterous claim. I wanted to believe that some desperate acts lead to desperate results! And lo and behold, we were able to watch the programme that night!

  

Of course, as soon as my husband returned from his trip, I told him that we indeed had to get a new TV set. Ours was more than a decade old, and Thompson had stopped manufacturing TV sets under this brand name, so getting it serviced did not make much sense. As usual, my words fell on deaf years till three months later, one April evening, when it went blank.  Once again I tried the same remedy; it did not work this time. Our Thompson TV set had stopped, short, never to go again!

It was a week day, and I was really happy not to have the temptations of the TV. Of course, I missed my doze of entertainment, the news, travel and investigation channels. Also the need to unwind with the idiot box was difficult to ignore.

I did not have to wait long. There was unusual activity as I returned home from school one day that April morning and there, the pride of place in the drawing room being  occupied by a 28inch Full HD - LED –DTH Television. The IPL season was about to commence. So every time I enjoy a program on TV, I am grateful to all the sports channels which go live- for the full HD –LED-DTH experience! The practice of sport is a human right, why worry about Fairness and Fair Play! 

A visit to the dentist!

Sounds familiar, isn’t it, especially to all my teacher friends! A writing prompt for kids, a favourite topic of the teachers! So many times have I read this composition and year after year, they grow impossibly difficult, painful and traumatic. I have often wondered if there is any other way out for kids and have asked myself if parents really have to subject these little children to the tongs and hammer of the dentist.

I have been fortunate in the sense that I never had to visit a dentist for any serious condition, as a kid or even when I was younger. So I have really never faced this  harrowing experience. Well recently, during a general check up, my dentist suggested an invasive treatment. After having confirmed that there was no other way, or rather it was the best treatment he could offer, I returned, to have the procedure done the next day. My dentist, did, however ask me whether I was not mentally prepared to have it done that very day. If I wasn’t , I was not ready to admit it. I had gone directly to the clinic after my work hours, I needed some rest and of course I was craving for some food! So the next day, I went prepared, both physically, and mentally!

Like so many things, I think the picture of the dentist as a plumber, a mechanic, and a blacksmith, all rolled into one, as depicted by my little students, was a complete exaggeration if not an untruth!  I had to look for other reasons why children continued to keep that horrendous picture alive. The anesthetic needle was so flimsy that I hardly felt the prick. I got a bridge to support my jaws so that my mouth remained open automatically, I did not have to painfully keep it open. All other activities, my dentist carried out gently, and except for the harsh bright glare of the light and the water jet inside my mouth, I could have fallen asleep. I suspect I did so, once in a while!

Now, back to the kids. I imagine it must have been difficult for the kids to be restrained for over an hour in this fashion and the worst part….your mouth is open but you cannot speak……... Surely, only the dentist can inflict this kind of torture!

An ode to our DOLPHIN car!

I had written this epilogue in my diary many many years ago .. and here, I reproduce it in my blog!  You see, our family is a sentimental lot; we get attached very easily, even to the 'treasures' we possess. From 1988 to 1992, we were the proud owners of  a second hand Sipani Dolphin 2-door car and like every such decision made at home, selling the bright red car was more dramatic (traumatic?) than buying her! 

We should have realized it the first day she came home. But the little red car just bowled us over. She would start with a purr and she would race away. My husband got her for a tidy sum and declared, quite unnecessarily though, that the car was not a luxury, rather a necessity. She sat demurely in the garage, her red hue sparkling and glittering in the sun. My husband believed that she just needed a quick fix and then she’d be as good as new!

Soon, the day dawned, wet and cloudy, the sky threatened to pour down the whole day long. My husband looked delighted! This was the day he was waiting for…the day his friends at office would really envy him!  He called out belligerently to his brood and we rushed in to enjoy our first drive in the rain. The little red car came to life with a twist of the key and sprinted off. She sailed and she glided through the wet streets. The family was ecstatic.

Suddenly the children fell into deathly silence. They were stretched across, heads upturned, gasping in disbelief. What’s the matter? barked their father. They screamed in unison, Dad, she is a tent on wheels, look, look, there are raindrops all round!

Oh sighed he, the rubber lining needs to be changed!

First it appeared to be a sigh, then ….was it a moan? For just as smoothly as she had started, she came to a halt. At first, the husband patiently turned and twisted the keys. He then screamed and cursed, finally he brought his fist down -wait till I get rid of you, he threatened. And lo and behold, she was gripped with a new spirit. School and office were soon forgotten. Away she sped through traffic and terrain with such a practiced ease that the husband was quiet delighted with his skills.

She oft repeated her wily acts. Sometimes it would be stretched too far and we would have to give her the royal push. She’d smirk and beam and then jump into action. She sometimes drove us out of our minds with her tricks and tantrums. That’s when my husband decided to dispose her off. But the resolve failed to take off. Prospective buyers would be conveniently shown the door for test rides revealed that she was fit and raring to go. After his drives alone, husband would return beaming; but with the family, she would be upto her tricks, stopping and starting in the middle of streets and roads. 

Finally, we had to let her go and in October of that year, we found a buyer. I did not fail to notice that my husband had gladly and patiently put up with all the little red car’s tricks…..I jealously wondered why! 

TEACHERS DAY-2014.

The idea that a Prime Minister should address students on Teachers Day seemed a novel one and I was looking forward to it. It was not any Prime Minister, it was Prime Minister Narendra Modi. After having heard his speeches, I was eager to know what he would have to tell the children. His address in Parliament was inspirational and motivating and so was the Independence day address. From the ramparts of the Red Fort, he spoke to the common man. He filled their hearts with pride, he infused in them a  renewed vigor.  I think he excelled himself while addressing the joint houses of Parliament in Nepal, in terms of motivation and inspiration. That small Himalayan Kingdom must have really felt on top of the world that day.

And so, in that strain, I was looking forward to Modi's speech. Yet I could not understand why students were being addressed on Teacher's Day! Sambit Patra, the BJP spokesperson, explained that just as a mother cannot be seen in isolation without her child, so also the students and teachers form a bond which must be addressed together. I believe that if there were no students, there would be no teachers, but  Teachers need validation too! 

Today, the prime minister came across as a tired man. He seemed to have nothing new to say. The children were overjoyed, after all when the head of government talks to them, they do feel special. I also felt that he appealed more to the older children. Finally, today's show was, for me, all about Smriti Irani. She had to prove a point. With Nirmala Sitarman at the helm of affairs during the Jan Dhan programme, it was now the turn of the much maligned HRD ministry and minister. Probably, this was one of her ideas, it must have appealed to the Prime Minister. That it has not done anything for the teachers is amply clear. Yes, I was very disappointed.

All wired up!

Decades ago, when computers had just been introduced, people wondered where and how  they would be used. I got an opportunity in those early days, to undergo a week's training course by an institute named DPS - a basic general course about hardware, software and computer languages. This helped me to address the simple questions: what is a computer? What are its functions? Name its parts,  etc. I too found it confusing. After we got a personal computer, the operations became clear and the 'logic' became apparent!

Back in those days it was comforting to begin the class with these few words.. Just as the bicycle adds to the power of your legs so does the computer, it adds to the power of our brains. It can calculate thousands of numbers, store them in memory and with a click of the button, retrieve it all. I also remember employee unions going on strike due to the introduction of computers in LIC and banks, they were afraid they would lose their jobs to the computer!

The computer today has entered our lives in so many ways unimaginable.

And to keep these various electronic devices on our finger tips, all we need to do is charge them every day-the laptop, the tablet, the i pod,  the cell phones, the kindle, the wireless , ....We now get wired the whole day hoping we haven't forgotten to wire on these devices!

Teacher Vs Guru.

I realize its almost a year since I blogged!

I am not surprised that a hullabaloo has been raised over the issue of the Teacher Vs the Guru. As I understand, a teacher is one who works in a school or an institute that imparts  education; one who could fall into the categories as put forth by William Arthur Ward-the mediocre, the good, the superior and the great

We have come to look upon one who provides formal education as a teacher and one  who teaches a mantra or Vedanta as an Acharya.  The Guru occupies a place above; a Guru may be termed as an influential teacher or a revered mentor.

The teacher is an important unit in nation building, central to both the problems of education and their solutions. Hence teachers need to be motivated and inspired. Did our Prime Minister not consider it important to address the teachers and their myriad issues on Teachers Day? Instead,  he chose to address the students at a time, when most schools get over for the day.

I believe a teacher can be looked upon as a Guru, hence the celebration of GuruUtsav through an essay writing competition for children seems more befitting a Children's'day programme. Of course, one needs to overlook political issues and consider the fact that Childrens Day celebrates Children and not Pundit Jawaharlal Nehru!

The government is hardly celebrating the Teacher or the role of teachers by not addressing their issues. I wish the political parties had taken up this issue instead of harping on the  nomenclature and how it is all about creating a divide in society.

As a teacher, I am greatly disappointed to know that Prime Minister Modi would rather address  bureaucrats, diplomats, film stars, US and British delegations, party cadres, business leaders, the Indian Armed Forces, corporates, youth and  even woman power but not the Teacher!