What did 2024 teach you?
Did 2024 teach me anything different? Anything significant? Yes! I am happy to acknowledge that 2024 has been a defining year in my life. It is not as if the other years did not teach me anything, they were definitely all very enriching. However, 2024 was different for me, probably it was the first time in my retired life that I spent a whole year at home with neither children nor grandchildren to look after, really, none of the typical activities I am used to. Of course, discounting the Covid years when it was an extraordinary time. So what did 2024 teach me?
With temporary responsibilities taking a backseat, finally I got some time for myself. I decided to invest in my health which involved mindful eating and mindful exercising, apart from several other steps which I undertook to bring about a healthy lifestyle. The first lesson 2024 taught me was that the level of discipline one needs to change one's life is nothing short of crazy. The most difficult of these was mindful eating. I found this challenge to be most formidable followed by a daily regular regimen of morning exercises and evening walks. I soon realized the rewards of the enhanced physical activities were many and even though it has been a tough process, I am happy to say that I have emerged, triumphant.
I undertook a long pending visit to my paternal home town this year. The visit filled me with a sense of joy and happiness. I felt something profoundly fulfilling. It helped root out many imagined fears and guilt, which on deeper analysis, probably stemmed from my feeling of rootlessness. I wondered why I had suffered so long and hadn't made this decision earlier. I was happy to discover that the world around me is more beautiful when I am at peace with the world within me!
I have spent my life believing that I am an introvert and finally reading the book 'Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking' by Susan Cain, gave me solace that an introvert can also be a very happy person in the company of others. I often feel stressed by loud noises, strong smells or even crowded places but I have come to understand that sensitivity is not a weakness, it is just a different way of processing the world around me. I have learned to embrace it and take care of myself. I gave up trying to force myself to fit in where I didn't belong. I am sure I was overwhelmed with the extrovert personalities of several family members and believed that it was the only way to enjoy a social life but I was so mistaken! Finally, I did find people whom I could relate to, people with whom I would come alive and I'm so grateful to God for having given me the sense to understand and hold on to these friends now.
Another fall out of my self-effacing nature was being stingy with smiles. I'm pleasantly surprised to discover the gifts of a smile; it has earned me all of my new friends. And this has made my days worth living! Whether it was the group in my Yoga class or strangers on my daily walk at the beach, I found and made friends. It also helped me rediscover some of my old friends. And through this process, I have met some people you could call 'human medicine' - you spend an hour with them and every thing feels better! How much they added to the quality of my life! I have learnt to be more generous with my smiles!
2024 taught me that it's possible to love unconditionally, and when I am the recipient of that largesse, I am overwhelmed. I had returned after a long stay with my grandchildren and as much as I miss them, I know it is not possible to be always with them. I revel in every opportunity I get to talk with them. Sometimes, I am so moved, I can barely stop the happy tears - especially when one says, "I love you Nani," and the other retorts, "I love you more, Nani". These protestations of love leave me grateful and often make me wonder what I have done to be the recipient of the love of my truly wonderful grandchildren and I now understand that it is possible to give back as good as you get. 2024 has taught me that trivial and petty matters can be left behind and forgotten and that immense love and gratitude can take its place. Remember....
"Nothing comes from nothing, Nothing ever could! So in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good!"
It took me a while to conquer some of the conditioning I found myself tethered to. Strangely, they included friends and friendship, music and merriment- all of which were considered a waste of time, frowned upon and never encouraged during my growing years. But they bring me so much solace! Every time I switch on the radio to listen to Mohammad Rafi's soul stirring love songs, I am plagued with guilt. Thankfully, the very same numbers have helped me overcome them.
बहुत शुक्रिया बड़ी मेहरबानी, मेरी ज़िन्दगी में हुज़ूर आप आए......
Many thanks for the great kindness you have shown by coming into my life.....
Reveling in my date with Mr. Monsoon the other day, I was returning home, listening to another of Rafi's soulful numbers as the monsoon drizzle accompanied me fervently....
जो गुज़र रही है मुझ पर उसे कैसे मैं बताऊँ!
वो ख़ुशी मिली है मुझको मैं ख़ुशी से मर न जाऊँ!
I'm unable to convey what I feel.....I'm so enjoying the happiness which I have received.
The year 2024 also dispelled my ignorance but thankfully, didn't dampen my enthusiasm for it also taught me - it's Lady Monsoon! And in this context, clearly it didn't make a difference! Dear Delightful Music, thanks for always cheering me up, clearing my head, healing my heart and lifting my spirit!
Loved reading it Geeta . I won’t be so elaborate . 2024 has been a rather sad and difficult year for me . It reinforced my belief in the unpredictability of Life - that we cannot cling on to dear ones forever . Have to bid them adieu though with a heavy heart . There is no escaping the ultimate reality of Death . Lost my dear mother in May and youngest Chachaji in July . Many other renowned personalities and friends . Some of these like the demise of RatanTataji stirred up my soul - felt almost a personal loss having grown up in Jamshedpur . Learnt to be more grateful . Since I am also in the autumn of my life - not sure if will see the next morrow - so taking each day as it comes and have learnt to be grateful for each new dawn . Always have given health the first priority - the past year intensified that as surely “ health is wealth !” Have vowed to keep away from toxic people , however close the relationship and might say that am succeeding gradually . No longer taking being dictated upon or being taken for granted . Have let go a bit of tolerance and have been giving back with the sane coin . Realised rather late that always being tolerant and sweet doesn’t help . Decided that overthinking doesn’t pay - everything will happen as per its scheduled time . So will do my karma - rest in the hands of the Almighty ! Passive approach - maybe - feeling more at peace . Have been as helpful as was possible but have withdrawn from those to whom I don’t matter . Didn’t get much ‘me time -‘ but enjoyed the little - those little moments of peace and happiness - my trips with my daughter , the word games , some creativity and lesser than my expected quota of painting . Realized that it’s more important to be connected than have multiple contacts . Was blessed and overwhelmed at the various instances of love and gratitude from my ex students . Was wonderful to feel that in some iota had managed to shape their lives - a true blessing and reward of a teacher . 2024 - a year of mixed bag of emotions - more sorrow but also fleeting moments of sublime joy . Life is a flow - it goes on - one Death cannot stop one from living - the cycle keeps going on and on ! Some depart but memories linger . Didn’t really feel much difference when another year 2025 was ushered in with another bereavement - the loss of our dear friend Rupa ! Again a reminder to be grateful - Thank God for the extension of my Life . Have prayed a lot for each one’s well being . May we continue to live with Love , luck and laughter and be blessed with an additional lease to our years .
ReplyDeleteThank you Mitali, for your thoughts. We continue to learn from Life! What a blessing is that!
ReplyDeleteSuch eloquent writing ,dear Geeta. Enjoyed reading it. Could relate to some of your activities. Like being mindful of your eating and exercising.Also of smiling less...but now making an effort to do so with people who walk in the same park. But Geeta , you have such a lovely smoke on your face always. Did I not remark on that in Goa.Another thing , I don't agree with you that you are an introvert. I still remember very clearly you standing up and asking the teacher in the moral science I think, If the students could be taken to watch the movie ' Gupt Gyan '. I had said to myself " wow. How bold ! "
ReplyDeleteI always envy people who have such a good command over the language and can write snd speak well. Impressed by your article, dear friend.
Hey, thanks, Friend. Gupt Gyan...omg!!did I! How brazen of me!!So happy to be back together again, na. I don't want to take a guess for fear of going wrong!!lots of love, dear friend.
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